Hate and Anger are Cancerous to the Soul

Cancer.  It has worked its way into every part of my life...EVERY part.  I feel as if the only part of me that doesn't have cancer, is my actual body.  It was then that I realized that it was kind-of in me, just in the form of anger.  Hate and anger are cancerous to the soul.  I have been angry; upset with the fact that so many wonderful, righteous people have had to go through this awful trial.  Not only does cancer affect the person who has it, but also every person that they come in contact with.  Cancer has affected many people that I love and care for very much and I hate that!  I have found myself asking the questions "Why them? What have they done to deserve such an awful punishment? Isn't there an easier way to learn lessons or strengthen a person's faith?"  I feel guilty and very sad when I ask these questions because it is as if I'm questioning Heavenly Father or that I am upset with Him.  I don't want to feel this way, and have been searching for answers.  It was then that I remembered the scripture that I have chosen to remember throughout this year: 1 Nephi 11:17.
"And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

  Even though I don't understand why these things happen, I know that Heavenly Father does.  I know that He has not forgotten any of His children and that He loves each and every one.  Even through watching those in Japan struggle after the earthquake and tsunami, I have kept this thought in my mind.  I just need to have faith that everything will be ok, and put my trust completely in the Lord.  I love how Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin made this statement in his talk titled "Come What May and Love It": (If you haven't heard this talk, listen to it!  It is incredible, and the messages that he shares are priceless.)

"Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training.  These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others."

I hope that I can gain a greater understanding be able to have a greater compassion for others.  I know that I have been able to see the many blessings that I receive each day, and I'm so thankful for all those who's lives I have been touched by.  These individuals that have cancer are strong, faithful people and are great examples to me.  I have seen through their examples how they have relied on the Atonement and the fact that there is One who knows what they are going through.  Just as these individuals have done, I also turn to the Atonement for comfort.  Through the Atonement peace can be found, but only as I cast out these negative feelings.  My heart has been overwhelmed with the amount of bad news that has come, and seems to never end.  My heart aches for those whose lives are touched by cancer.  I know that it is ok to feel this sorrow, but I need to get rid of the negative feelings that always seem to follow.  It is better to stay positive, and have faith because I know that through the love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, all things can be accomplished.  If I have questions along the way, I can always turn to the scriptures and prayer.  It is my lifeline.  I will continue to pray for all those in Japan and the people I know that have been fighting their battles with cancer.  If you haven't, please send up a prayer in behalf of these individuals.

You find your faith has been lost and shaken
You take back what's been taken
Get on your kees and dig down deep
You can do what you think is impossible. 
Keep on believing, don't give in
It'll come and make you whole again
It always will, it always does
Love is unstoppable